Echo of Trucks Erase the Memory of Your Face

Life gifts twists, 

in shadows, we drift,

Each day I pass where your journey did end

A torture so mine, 

through memories' rift,

Some days I float, 

others, I can't lift.

Echo of trucks erase memory of your face,

Wishing for routes, 

to escape this place.

Tears blend with rain without a trace,

Your absence a void, 

time can't erase.

To forget I just stay in my lane

Avoiding the spot, 

brings no gain

Each morning’s drive, 

revives the pain,

In the left lane's safety, 

keeps me sane.

Did you find peace, 

in that final breath?

Loose ends tied, 

as you danced with death.

A truck, a moment, 

sealed our fate,

Leaving scars, 

no time can abate.

Your battle’s end, 

a struggle so deep,

Left a driver haunted, 

in eternal sleep.

Your choice, a weight, 

in my heart, it creeps,

Ashes to wind, 

the sea gently sweeps.

In the slow lane of life, 

where spirits weep,

I hope you found calm, 

a rest so deep.

Every truck’s roar, 

your memory it keeps,

In the heart of I-5, 

where your spirit sleeps.

Came home to start again, Returned to where my life began, Right where I need to be

When the bottom falls out,
Lost with no place to go
Won't wallow in frustration
Instead, I will set out For the only destination
Where all is forgiven... Home

Came home to start again, Returned to where my life began, Right where I need to be

The title of this post is part of the chorus to a song I am writing inspired by the following…

"Keep Looking Up " A Poem for my son

The gift that I am metaphorically illustrating with this digital art is confidence in your own abilities, belief in self and faith to persevere and keep trying. This is the gift I would like to give my son, the brightest star in my sky.

Jamison, if at first you don't succeed... Tye, Tye Again!!!!! (Shoes, that is) I love you more than all the fish in the sea, all the people on land and all the stars in the Sky and all the way to the moon and back too!

This original digital art was created on my Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1" Tablet (2013 Edition) using Photoshop Touch, Autodesk Sketchbook Pro and PicsArt!

This is an original poem and artwork. Do not reproduce without permission.

Child you left behind

Child You Left Behind

Oh, high and mighty, perched so falsely

Upon a throne of fabrications, so costly

In a mist of self-deceit, you dwell

Casting on me faults, in your own spell

Believing your own lies, a heart so cold

Aiming to taint mine, in the mold you hold

In despising others, you reveal your own plight

Mirroring the flaws in you, hidden from sight

Tearing me apart, is tearing at your core

Your life, a masquerade, seeking more and more

Craving attention, sympathy's deceitful queen

Manipulating your court, unseen and unclean

No longer shall I pity your twisted game

Your aim to ruin, in your quest for fame

I reject being your scapegoat in disdain

Refusing to partake in your deceptive chain

You've reaped what you sowed, in comfort you bask

Achieved through deception, behind a mask

Your judgmental gaze, cold and sharp

Nothing I do satisfies, nothing can warp

Constantly belittling, with a hidden envy

Seeking to lower me, to uplift thee

You call me crazy, perhaps it's true

A madness you sparked, in the shadows you brew

Abandoned in youth, a spectacle for show

Public affection, yet love, you never bestow

A child kept out of spite, yearning for your grace

Understanding now, it's a fruitless chase

Your indifference cuts deep, a forgotten seed

I'm the child you left behind, a heart left to bleed

By Stacy M Price

Published December 21, 2023

 

My Father's Eulogy (A poem I wrote to start the eulogy)

Life is a puzzle. 

As we go on our journey, we collect pieces to later put together. 

Some pieces are people we love or places we've lived 

and others are events or experiences we've had along the way. 

Each and every little piece carves and shapes 

who we are and who we will become as a person. 

Each piece contributes to the whole picture. 

Slowly, as we collect each piece and find where it fits into our puzzle, 

the big picture starts to take shape and it all begins to make sense. 

When it's all put together, we feel complete. 

Our life has run its course and it's time to move on to a better place.

Sometimes, life is cut short and that person's puzzle is left unfinished. 

Despite that, they may have impacted many others and become a piece of their puzzles.  

Through the pieces they leave behind

those lost too soon, will live on. 

They will be remembered for what they shared with others

and the relationships they built. 

My father's puzzle was almost whole but

We will never know how it may have turned out

Life is a puzzle and sometimes it just can't be solved.

Here is a compass for you... So you'll always know which way to go... to navigate through life and stay the course... No matter where it takes you you'll always know true north. #myart #mypoem #painting

Here is a compass for you...

So you'll always know which way to go...

To navigate through life and stay the course... 

No matter where life takes you...

You'll always know true north...

Us Against The World

Online Dating Profiles:

What would you write (if you were completely honest and held nothing back) about who you are looking for?

I want to be with someone who:

• Has compassion for others.
• Doesn’t joke at my expense.
• Loves me for me and doesn’t expect me to change.
• Believes in me when I decide to better myself and helps me stay on track.
• Is intelligent, can hold a serious conversation but also joke around with me.
• Builds me up and makes me want to be a better person.
• Communicates with me before something becomes a problem.
• Works with me to accomplish mutual goals.
• Likes the same things I do.
• Respects my “me” time and interests they don’t share.
• Loves the things I do for him because he knows that’s how I show I care.
• Does little things to show me he cares and he listens.
• Has self respect, is trusting and trustworthy.
• I can be myself around and feels comfortable around me to be himself.
• Will call me out on my own bullshit.
• Sparks, I want Sparks!
• Is a bit of a freak and can keep up with my over the top sex drive.
• Wants me and touches me to show affection. Wants to give me a back rub after a long day.

Being a Substitute Paraeducator is not easy... Not even a little bit! It's very rewarding though and I have worked with a lot of really amazing kids!

You may be asking yourself, "What is a Paraeducator?"

We are basically a teaching aide for special education students.  They usually don't have a teaching certificate and are considered "classified staff".  They have experience working with people that have a disability and they have passed a Paraprofessional Assessment Test of knowledge required to teach students in Kindergarten thru 12th grade.

Here's a quick summary of what I do as a substitute Para:

New Year's Solution to Failed Resolutions

Every New Year's Eve resolutions are made by so many of us. We do so thinking we are bettering ourselves but we wind up damaging our self-esteem (among other things) when we fail to keep these resolutions.

Every single year you start out with the best intentions to make positive changes in your life by sticking to your resolutions.  For a while you are able to keep your self imposed strict rules but we all slip up.  We are only human.  Eventually, you fail again and again and again (usually sooner rather than later).

Basically we are resolving to break a habit and implementing the changes immediately with no flexibility or forgiveness.  In other words, we are setting these unrealistic goals to make drastic changes starting on January 1st.  When January 1st comes along we don't magically become a new person that no longer has the bad habits you resolve to ditch.  We have to work at it, making progress by avoiding temptation and staying the course until we've accomplished the mission.

We don't suddenly develop the discipline needed to kick our bad habits overnight. If we did, then we'd have already done it.  We are setting ourselves up to fail year after year!  Then when we eventually give up on our resolutions, we send ourselves on a huge guilt trip.  

Wouldn't you rather go on a vacation?  Any trip with guilt is not a fun one!

🙈🙉🙊 

A brillant man once said that the definition of insanity was doing the same things over and over but expecting a different result.  So why do we continue to make and break resolutions in a never ending cycle of self inflicted torture?

My New Year's Resolution for 2019 is
No more resolutions!

🚀Instead, I will set goals with realistic milestones and gradual changes in order to succeed in real self improvement!  This way I won't be beating myself up because I've skipped a day of being vigilant.  

I  will conquer a bad habit's hold on me by taking bite-sized pieces, instead of trying to swallow it whole. 

So have a Happy New Year and Go be awesome!

Get to know yourself

Up until a few years ago, I believed that I had been discovering myself.  Since the age of twenty one, when I had almost died alone in a hospital room at Virginia Mason, I should have died. Figured fate had only been delayed slightly.  My mission was finding myself, learning to understand who I am and who I want to be if given the chance to live.  All along I thought I knew who I was and where I was going, in life.  In reality I was seeking approval from others instead of listening to myself.

I was just gathering other's input on who they thought I was, how I should be and who I should become.  These people I was seeking insight from didn't really know me at all.  I never showed my "true colors" to anyone.  And even if I had opened myself up, who were they to judge and decide what made me who I am?  Most of them were random acquaintances who floated into and out of my life without so much as a snap of the finger, barely noticed.  Especially not by my self-absorbed mind, too busy trying on different personas to pay attention to players exiting stage right.

Truth is no one outside of yourself can determine who you are and no one can tell you who you should be.  Its  not easy to get to know the true you, fear of what you might find will often delay your quest. 

Does your other half make you a better person?

In a healthy, happy committed relationship each partner should make the other a better person. 

They should support each other emotionally, communicate and work through problems together, make big decisions after talking them out, share talents and resources to accomplish goals. 

They should Inspire each other.  Encourage the other to chase their dreams.  They should share their experience, knowledge, passions, strengths with the other. They should value each other's opinions, ideas and suggestions and feed off of each other's energy and excitement.  One partner's accomplishments should be celebrated by the other and they should almost be seen a joint achievement because as a team, both put in effort and both benefit.

Personalities should complement each other.  Most successful couples are similar in some ways but mostly have different talents and abilities.  For example, one is more outgoing and charming and the other is introverted but can sense things about people that no one else picks up on. 

There shouldn't be a score kept of who is better at what because it should never be a competition but a co-operation.  Strive to be a better you than you were yesterday, which will make you both a better couple tomorrow.

"Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind, the race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself." -Baz luhrmann Lyrics from Sunscreen.

Something Inside Us...

“Sometimes we have the absolute certainty there's something inside us that's so hideous and monstrous that if we ever search it out we won't be able to stand looking at it. But it's when we're willing to come face to face with that demon that we face the angel.”  - Hubert Selby Jr.

Malibu has a boo boo? No just thirsty! (Auto Shop Story)

This is a story that I recently shared on Reddit and it got such a huge response that I thought I'd share it here too!

Malibu towed into the shop with "fuel pump failure" aka no start.  Turns out it had actually run out of gas.  Fuel pumps can't pump if there is no gas!  Customer demanded that we replace a perfectly good fuel pump anyways...

(Not Customer's Actual Car)

TIL that the ocean can freeze....

-20F in Massachusetts freezes ocean. https

Watch Out the Full Moon will be out in 16 hours 🤣

Thank you Mom! (A poem by MalibuNinja)

My son & I

Thank you Mom 

For teaching me right from wrong,
And feeding me so I could grow strong.
For reading to me despite your yawns,
And singing to me your favorite songs.
For patching me up when I'd scrape along,
And making me feel like I belong.

Thank you Mom

For building me up when I feel small,
And picking me up when I fall.
For guiding me since I could crawl,
And inspiring me when I hit a wall.
For loving me even if I'm a goofball,
And answering me whenever I call. 

Most of all thanks for being my friend.

My Grandmother (AKA GG) & my son

My mother (AKA Lala) & my son

My foster mom,  Cindy & my son

Happy Mother's Day!

A drawing a day (delayed) Day 3

Of course, as soon as I commit to posting a drawing a day on my blog the wifi goes out and my drawing tablet is wifi-only. And the data plan on my cell phone doesn't allow the use of wifi hotspots so I couldn't connect that way either.

So it's a bit delayed but here is day 3 of a drawing a day keeps the crazy away.

A drawing a day keeps the crazy away, day 2

"My Human Mirror" Lyrics Originally posted September 2013

Have you ever met someone (not related to you) that is so similar to you that it scares you? Someone who shares the same personality, habits, mannerisms? If this happens what do you call that person?  How about your human mirror?

I met my human mirror about two years ago. My feelings are still mixed about this man, kind of a love/hate relationship.  Some days we could spend all day having a great time together and other days we couldn't stand each other. This is a song I wrote about that experience.

WHEN I LOOK AT YOU, I SEE ME 

SCARY TO SEE YOURSELF

REFLECTED IN SOMEONE ELSE

WE ARE THE SAME, IN SO MANY WAYS

KNOWING YOU IS... KNOWING ME

BLIND IF YOU DON’T SEE

YOU ARE ME TO A "T"

~~Chorus~~

I SEE IN YOU THE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT ME

YOU WILL ALWAYS STAND OUT IN A CROWD 

EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS LOUD AND PROUD 

EVEN WHEN YOU ATTEMPT YOU CANNOT BLEND 

CAST A SHADOW ON ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS 

I SEE IN YOU THE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT ME 

TO BE SURER, I GET NEARER 

YOU ARE MY HUMAN MIRROR 

AT FIRST, THRILLING TO DISCOVER 

~~

OUR SIMILARITIES ARE CEASELESS

WORKED TO FIX OUR BROKEN PIECES

LEARNED WHO I AM EVALUATING YOU 

NOW ENLIGHTENED, TO SELF BE TRUE 

NOW BETTER PEOPLE, BRAND NEW 

YOU CAN INFUSE A RAINY DAY WITH SUNSHINE 

BUT I KNOW THE DARKNESS YOU HIDE INSIDE 

YOU AND ME ARE ALWAYS APOLOGIZING 

DONE NOTHING BUT GUILT IS RISING 

IF A SOULS IN NEED OF A KIND DEED 

WE GIVE THEM IT ALL UNTIL WE BLEED 

SHOULD LEARN BUT NEVER TAKE HEED, 

TOO NICE WE FALL VICTIM TO DECEPTION

~~Chorus~~

I SEE IN YOU THE THINGS I HATE ABOUT ME 

YOU DO WHATEVER WITHOUT QUESTION 

JUST EXPECTING EVERY ONE'S INGESTION 

MOST SWALLOW IT HOOK, LINE AND SINKER 

ALL WRAPPED UP ON YOUR LITTLE FINGER 

I SEE IN YOU THE THINGS I HATE ABOUT ME 

SELF-REFLECTION, WORSE THAN HORROR 

YOU ARE MY HUMAN MIRROR 

AT LAST, A NIGHTMARE TO BEHOLD

~~ 

GO AHEAD TRY TO CONCEAL YOUR TRUE SELF

HIDE YOURSELF FROM EVERYONE ELSE 

STILL CAN'T HIDE FROM YOUR MIRROR

IT WILL ALWAYS REFLECT YOU BACK

TRY AS YOU MIGHT YOU CAN'T FOOL YOURSELF

LET THEM SAY YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH 

DON’T BELIEVE IT, THEY CAN'T MEASURE UP

WHEN YOUR GAME OF CHARADES IS DONE

SEEK ME OUT, I WILL FORGIVE YOUR ERRORS

ABOVE ALL ELSE, I'LL LET YOU BE YOURSELF

MY HUMAN MIRROR, ISN'T IT ALL CLEARER

EVERY MIRROR, EVERY WINDOW OR PUDDLE 

EVERY REFLECTION IT'S ME YOU SEE

I WILL REMIND YOU WITHOUT ANY TROUBLE

IT'S ME WHO KNOWS YOU LIKE NO ONE OTHER

© 2013 Stacy M Price (AKA MalibuNinja)

A drawing a day keeps the crazy away... Day 1

I finally fixed my "awesome art" tablet that has been broken for almost two years!  It's a Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 (the older model that was released in 2012) and it is the most accurate and realistic way I've found to digitally draw or paint.   I felt like I'd list my right arm when it went through a software update and would no longer boot up.   So long story short, to celebrate having my creative outlet back I've decided to draw at least one digital masterpiece a day and post it here on my blog!  I'm calling it "A drawing a day keeps the crazy away" and here is my first drawing.

This was drawn using a Manga illustration app I just discovered that's called Medi bang.  It's a great app so far, has tons of features and best of all, it's free! I'm still learning how to operate it properly as it is a little complicated but so far,  it's awesome.