Get to know yourself

Up until a few years ago, I believed that I had been discovering myself.  Since the age of twenty one, when I had almost died alone in a hospital room at Virginia Mason, I should have died. Figured fate had only been delayed slightly.  My mission was finding myself, learning to understand who I am and who I want to be if given the chance to live.  All along I thought I knew who I was and where I was going, in life.  In reality I was seeking approval from others instead of listening to myself.

I was just gathering other's input on who they thought I was, how I should be and who I should become.  These people I was seeking insight from didn't really know me at all.  I never showed my "true colors" to anyone.  And even if I had opened myself up, who were they to judge and decide what made me who I am?  Most of them were random acquaintances who floated into and out of my life without so much as a snap of the finger, barely noticed.  Especially not by my self-absorbed mind, too busy trying on different personas to pay attention to players exiting stage right.

Truth is no one outside of yourself can determine who you are and no one can tell you who you should be.  Its  not easy to get to know the true you, fear of what you might find will often delay your quest. 

Self reflection is a scary thing especially when you are truly honest with yourself.  If you can't be honest with yourself, how can you be honest with anyone else or expect honesty from others? 

I have learned that spending all your time with others trying to escape yourself, doesn't work.  You can't hide from yourself because no matter where you go the inner you is still right there with you!  Pretending to be someone you are not, doesn’t' work because you know you are a fraud.

So take the time to truly get to know yourself, all you need is a little "me" time.  Some find it's best to meditate or do some yoga.  Relax or maybe you will find like me it's best to exercise during your self reflection time.  I find that Pilates works for me as you are stretching but it has a quicker more upbeat tempo than yoga.  I find that I think best when using my muscles, my heart is really getting my blood pumping.

Once you have figured yourself out, I am not sure you will ever be able to explain yourself to another person.  Its mind bending that everyone's brains work differently and sometimes there is just no way to convey your thought process to another and have full comprehension.

I don't believe that words have been created that could be strung together to truly describe who I am inside.  I think it's amazing that every person on earth is inexplicably unique, even identical twins that have identical DNA still have their own personalities and can blaze their own trails in life as completely unique individuals.

I teach my son that being himself is so important, to be able to express yourself and not worry about other's opinions of you.  Obviously to a certain degree you have to get along with others in order to function in society but I believe you can embrace your "you-ness" in a way that doesn't encumber your relationships with others.

I celebrate my uniqueness in a way that is specific to me and I encourage you to embrace the traits that make you stand out; your quirks, your talents and your humor are what make you special.  I don't want to "fit in" with everyone else because "normal" is boring and I was not made with a cookie cutter.

Don't worry about people opinions of you.  Others may label you as different but they are just as guilty of being different.  We are all snowflakes, no two can be exactly identical, you are who you are. 

Humans are not meant to be a herd of sheep that just follow the leader.  We were made unique for a reason and we are supposed to embrace that individuality and expand our horizons beyond each other.

So many people waste the opportunity to get to know themselves and they choose to just follow what others have done before them.  They say things like "it's tried and true", "It was good enough for them it's good enough for me", "If it ain't broke don't fix it" in reference to their habits, methods, beliefs and basically their personality.  Those people are happy to just step were their father's stepped or their mother's feet landed before them. 

If you settle for mediocrity, you are failing yourself by not even bothering to think for yourself.  You are wasting your incredible inner self to be the carbon copy of someone else.