When the bottom falls out,
Lost with no place to go
Won't wallow in frustration
Instead, I will set out For the only destination
Where all is forgiven... Home
Came home to start again, Returned to where my life began, Right where I need to be
The title of this post is part of the chorus to a song I am writing inspired by the following…
My life fell apart December of 2011 and I moved home. Back to the only place that I have called home through out my life. I come home whenever life gets me down and I need a pick me up. When I caught my husband cheating days after I had a C-Section to deliver our baby and the world looked completely hopeless, this is where I came. Sometimes it's a day visit our an overnight but other times it's a longer stay while I figure things out.
Well this time things fell apart at the right time because not only did my grandma need help (whether she would admit it or not) but my mother did as well. My grandpa was diagnosed with his third form of cancer the same month I returned home, therefore life was about to get a lot rougher on both of them.
Everything happens for a reason, right?
My papa has always been my replacement "daddy" and for that I am very thankful because (other than him and my foster dad, Bill) I have had few positive male role models in my life.
Papa fought in the Korean war and came home with tuberculosis, was hospitalized and lost half his lungs but he survived. He has broken close to every bone in his body, even had bones protruding from his leg at one point. He has broken 4 vertebrae in his back. Completely shattered his right shoulder falling four stories through a hatch in a fishing vessel.
He has crash landed an airplane, been in car accidents and wrecked his fishing boat, The Alma, running aground on the rocks in Alaska. Papa has been through storms nasty enough to rival “The Perfect Storm”, had the windshield of his boat reign shards of glass into his eyes and face during one such storm. And still he soldiered on.
My Papa has fought every up-hill battle one man possibly could. Doctors told him he would never walk again but he does. He was told he would never be able to use his right arm but he does. Nothing can keep this man down and never is there a doubt in his mind about what he can and cannot do. He has inspired not only me but everyone he comes in contact with.
🌎🌍🌏 Side Story 🌎🌍🌏
My mother slipped in water while entering her apartment building in Renton in August of 2010. Apparently some kids from the complex had been playing with water guns and the entryway had dark flooring (not skid resistant).
She walked into the entryway, couldn't see the water all over the floor and walls and she fell bending her leg all the way in the wrong direction. The firefighters that responded had to straighten her leg at the scene with no anesthetic, otherwise the doctors would have had to amputate the
leg.
Her Nerves were severed, every ligament ripped to shreds and she still has
almost no feeling in that leg. She has undergone two major reconstructive
surgeries but she needs at least one more surgery before she can hope to walk
again. So I take care of my mom and my son.
My grandparents live upstairs. Except for storage (and play space when I was a kid) they didn’t really use the basement until my mom moved in. Before I moved home my grandma was running up and down the stairs carrying food, dishes and laundry. Since my mom is unable to go upstairs and the basement isn't completely finished my grandma had to cart everything upstairs to be washed. The only running water is in the bathroom downstairs so there are no laundry facilities or a dishwasher. My grandma was also driving my mom to all her appointments, taking her grocery shopping or doing the grocery shopping for her.
I am sure by now you get the picture. My 77 year old grandma was wearing herself out and wouldn't ask for or accept help. She had spent over three years taking care of her mother (My Great Grandma Lucy) until she died of non-Hoskins lymphoma the October before my mom's accident. My grandma was tired and she deserved a break.
Papa had beat prostate cancer and thyroid cancer prior to this ordeal. During the treatment of the thyroid cancer the doctors had discovered that his parathyroid were cancerous, so they removed all of them except one was missing. None of his doctors had been able to located it.
His prescriptions would change constantly along with his required diet. One day my grandma was told to give him lots of tums and milk and the next day he wasn't allowed to have any calcium. One day they would put him on potassium and two days later they would take him off of it. My grandma had to keep an exceptionally detailed journal to keep track of everything.
Some time passed before all his doctors could figure out how to fight the cancer he had in his (one remaining but missing in action) parathyroid. The doctors didn't want to do surgery thinking it was too risky at his age. For a year and a half my Papa lived in a whirlwind of chaos, they did nuclear treatments, chemo treatments, he had to be pretty much quarantined for months because of the nuclear radioactive medicines.
As I said before, Papa is a stable man in all senses of the word but despite that had some manic episodes during his calcium poisoning days. He was in and out of the hospital, hallucinating, having seizures, was confused about major things like who he was married to and whether or not he had kids and at times he couldn't talk or walk. It was scary business but my grandma never waivered, she never doubted, she was right by his side like always. Behind every good man there is a great woman, and my grandma is that great woman!
There were several times, we thought we were loosing Papa for sure. Finally the doctors at the VA hospital decided they wouldn't let him die, they had to go in and find that parathyroid and get it out. They achieved what we thought was impossible. Turns out that the stupid tumor was benign but just being attached to the organ was causing it to malfunction and it was killing him.
My grandpa has bounced back from the brink of death, after the excellent doctors at the VA hospital fixed him up. I hate to think about what would have happened had they not decided to do the risky surgery. He is doing amazingly well, more active than he has been in years. Grandma is still trying to catch up on her rest/sleep.
One thing grandpa has taught me (by example) is that you can do whatever you want if you have the will you will find the way. If you are told you are incapable of something then you must go prove them wrong!!!!
Love you Papa and GG!!!
A few years ago Papa and I were talking about my aunt and my mom.
He was worried that they can't maintain a relationship long term, that neither
was married or happy. He was beating himself up verbally, blaming himself for
their failed relationships. He told me that it was his fault because when they
were growing up he forgot to tell them that not all men are like him, that most
men aren't anything like him. So they were doomed from the start going out in
the world thinking every man would take care of them and love them like their
dad loved their mom!
🌎🌍🌏 So
back to my story… 🌎🌍🌏
My son and I returned to my grandparent’s home, the
home I was mostly raised in. My mother lives here now as well. She moved
into the basement because she took a fall a couple of years ago that left her
wheelchair bound and unable to work.
My mother slipped in water while entering her apartment building in Renton in August of 2010. Apparently some kids from the complex had been playing with water guns and the entryway had dark flooring (not skid resistant).
She walked into the entryway, couldn't see the water all over the floor and walls and she fell bending her leg all the way in the wrong direction. The firefighters that responded had to straighten her leg at the scene with no anesthetic, otherwise the doctors would have had to amputate the
leg.
Her Nerves were severed, every ligament ripped to shreds and she still has
almost no feeling in that leg. She has undergone two major reconstructive
surgeries but she needs at least one more surgery before she can hope to walk
again. So I take care of my mom and my son. My grandparents live upstairs. Except for storage (and play space when I was a kid) they didn’t really use the basement until my mom moved in. Before I moved home my grandma was running up and down the stairs carrying food, dishes and laundry. Since my mom is unable to go upstairs and the basement isn't completely finished my grandma had to cart everything upstairs to be washed. The only running water is in the bathroom downstairs so there are no laundry facilities or a dishwasher. My grandma was also driving my mom to all her appointments, taking her grocery shopping or doing the grocery shopping for her.
I am sure by now you get the picture. My 77 year old grandma was wearing herself out and wouldn't ask for or accept help. She had spent over three years taking care of her mother (My Great Grandma Lucy) until she died of non-Hoskins lymphoma the October before my mom's accident. My grandma was tired and she deserved a break.
Papa had beat prostate cancer and thyroid cancer prior to this ordeal. During the treatment of the thyroid cancer the doctors had discovered that his parathyroid were cancerous, so they removed all of them except one was missing. None of his doctors had been able to located it.
His prescriptions would change constantly along with his required diet. One day my grandma was told to give him lots of tums and milk and the next day he wasn't allowed to have any calcium. One day they would put him on potassium and two days later they would take him off of it. My grandma had to keep an exceptionally detailed journal to keep track of everything.
Some time passed before all his doctors could figure out how to fight the cancer he had in his (one remaining but missing in action) parathyroid. The doctors didn't want to do surgery thinking it was too risky at his age. For a year and a half my Papa lived in a whirlwind of chaos, they did nuclear treatments, chemo treatments, he had to be pretty much quarantined for months because of the nuclear radioactive medicines.
As I said before, Papa is a stable man in all senses of the word but despite that had some manic episodes during his calcium poisoning days. He was in and out of the hospital, hallucinating, having seizures, was confused about major things like who he was married to and whether or not he had kids and at times he couldn't talk or walk. It was scary business but my grandma never waivered, she never doubted, she was right by his side like always. Behind every good man there is a great woman, and my grandma is that great woman!
There were several times, we thought we were loosing Papa for sure. Finally the doctors at the VA hospital decided they wouldn't let him die, they had to go in and find that parathyroid and get it out. They achieved what we thought was impossible. Turns out that the stupid tumor was benign but just being attached to the organ was causing it to malfunction and it was killing him.
My grandpa has bounced back from the brink of death, after the excellent doctors at the VA hospital fixed him up. I hate to think about what would have happened had they not decided to do the risky surgery. He is doing amazingly well, more active than he has been in years. Grandma is still trying to catch up on her rest/sleep.
One thing grandpa has taught me (by example) is that you can do whatever you want if you have the will you will find the way. If you are told you are incapable of something then you must go prove them wrong!!!!
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