Get to know yourself

Up until a few years ago, I believed that I had been discovering myself.  Since the age of twenty one, when I had almost died alone in a hospital room at Virginia Mason, I should have died. Figured fate had only been delayed slightly.  My mission was finding myself, learning to understand who I am and who I want to be if given the chance to live.  All along I thought I knew who I was and where I was going, in life.  In reality I was seeking approval from others instead of listening to myself.

I was just gathering other's input on who they thought I was, how I should be and who I should become.  These people I was seeking insight from didn't really know me at all.  I never showed my "true colors" to anyone.  And even if I had opened myself up, who were they to judge and decide what made me who I am?  Most of them were random acquaintances who floated into and out of my life without so much as a snap of the finger, barely noticed.  Especially not by my self-absorbed mind, too busy trying on different personas to pay attention to players exiting stage right.

Truth is no one outside of yourself can determine who you are and no one can tell you who you should be.  Its  not easy to get to know the true you, fear of what you might find will often delay your quest. 

Does your other half make you a better person?

In a healthy, happy committed relationship each partner should make the other a better person. 

They should support each other emotionally, communicate and work through problems together, make big decisions after talking them out, share talents and resources to accomplish goals. 

They should Inspire each other.  Encourage the other to chase their dreams.  They should share their experience, knowledge, passions, strengths with the other. They should value each other's opinions, ideas and suggestions and feed off of each other's energy and excitement.  One partner's accomplishments should be celebrated by the other and they should almost be seen a joint achievement because as a team, both put in effort and both benefit.

Personalities should complement each other.  Most successful couples are similar in some ways but mostly have different talents and abilities.  For example, one is more outgoing and charming and the other is introverted but can sense things about people that no one else picks up on. 

There shouldn't be a score kept of who is better at what because it should never be a competition but a co-operation.  Strive to be a better you than you were yesterday, which will make you both a better couple tomorrow.

"Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind, the race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself." -Baz luhrmann Lyrics from Sunscreen.